Emily: “I don’t have any quotes for the quotes.”


Alora: “I need to text my mom, I can’t remember how old I am.”


After Liv asks about allergies.

Gary: “Do you have paranoid delusions, Gary? Why yes, yes I do.”


Gary: “At the end of this, we’re all going to die.”

Monica: “Gary, you’re starting to sound like me.”


About Gary’s new book.

Cora: “Does that smell good?”

Gary: “Yeah, smells like a new book in a dirty box.”


Lilia: “I think vanilla tastes like flowers.”


Talking about Yukon’s face.

Monica: “His cheek crack is bigger.”


Gary: “Watch out everyone I have diseases.”

Monica: “How many?”

Gary: “I don’t know, like six. After four I was like, ‘whatever.’”


After killing a moth then writing a story.

Monica: “Maybe I should kill things more often; it inspires me.”


Anna: “Is there purple dinosaur on my butt?”


Monica: “Why does Mom use the boys’ bathroom?”


Jade: “Welp, no more reading about heroin.”


Cora: “Smoke some crack.”


Gary: “Next year I’ll name the class Creative Writing slash Drugs.”


Trying to give a prompt.

Gary: “Write a story about an older person who walks into a room and needs to get rid of--” 

Zoey: “A dead body?”

Gary: “No!”


Cora: “My favorite things aren’t real.”


Zoey: “How do boys’ minds work?”

Gary (laughing): “Slooowly, Sloowly.”


Liv: “I took a nap yesterday and the nap ended with a bear blowing air darts at me.”


Talking about Entre’s limeade.

Cora: “Is it weird to say that this tastes like sunscreen?”


Anna (to Gary): “I think my name is on your foot.”


Liv: “If anyone ever tells me that there’s a special place in Hell for me, I’d tell them it’s

called a throne.


Cora (to Lilia): “You know, I think that’s a song but I can’t tell since it’s coming out of your mouth.”


As we talked about the podium that Gary uses as a soulsucker.  

Abby: “We’re all gingers on the inside.”


Mariah: “Are you from Amster? Cause dam!”


Cora: “You need to read this. It’s short and stupid.’

Anna: “It’s okay. I like short and stupid; I did talk to your brother for a while.”

Cora: “He’s not so short anymore. Sometimes I see him walking and just want to cut his legs off.”


Alivia: “Hey Abby, do you wanna go find a dead body with me?”


Gary: “Or we could get somebody’s flip-flop and use it as a time machine.”


Alora: “My bike decided to kill me.”


Jade: “What do armadillos eat?”

Mariah: “Children’s dreams...”


Lilia: “Jade, just wondering. What’s your opinion on scary movies?”

Jade: “My parents don’t let me watch them because I might get ideas.”


Monica - “I don’t like seafoam green. It’s not a pleasing color.”

Cora - “You’re not a pleasing color.”

Monica - “I’m sorry I’m white.”


Gary: “I use perfume too, but only on my big toe. When people ask, ‘Can I smell your toe?’, I’m

like ‘Oh yeah.’”


Jade: “Babies taste like fish?!”


Zoey: “Is this edible, or I meant, is this legible?”


Gary: “Ahem, I rank people on a 1-100 scale of me liking them; they start at a 40. Cora has

never gotten above a 33.”


Lilia: “When I’m hungry, my stomach gets all wavy like a jellybean.”

Monica: “Jellyfish?”

Lilia: “Yeah…”


Cora: “I think you’re such small children and then I read your writing and I think, you’re such

powerful small children.”


Lilia: “Look, I have Oprah Winfrey arms!”


Liv: “It’s like I’m sitting in a donut!”


Gary: “We all feel so deeply insecure about our Oprah arms.”


Lilia: “I’ve never seen pot.”

Cora: “...but you’ve seen a flowerpot.”

Lilia: “Is that a type of weed?”


Monica: “What is a word that would describe a muscular horse?”

Gary: “Gary.”


Anna: “You’re great at writing constitutions. Thomas Jefferson is having a party in his grave

right now.”


And too many more not suitable for printing...