"The Panic at the Disco"
Volume 43 ~ 2021
The Panic at the Disco
Written by: Hope Anderson, Kylie Burken, McCartney Elliott, Danica Ervin, Maxine Fickenscher, Emma Grube, Delaney Ham, Mercedes Holmes, Jacey Kent, Alizabeth McDermott, Ely Pittner, & Jerzie Vap.
Creative Writing Class
INT. EACH CHARACTERS’ HOUSE - EVENING
(the film starts in 1989 somewhere in the U.S. and the voiceover happens while each main character gets ready in their respective house to go to the club: DISCO DAN fluffs his afro; POPSTAR PENNY applies her lipstick and smacks her lips in satisfaction; ROCKSTAR RICKY puts on dark kohl eyeliner and mascara.)
Long, long ago- in 1968- a group of black market scientists injected three different variations of Musiconium- a power granting formula they created- into three different packages of baby food. They planned to hide the Musiconium in the baby food, because the police wouldn’t think to look there. But through a mishap, the baby food was sent out with a Gerber shipment to somewhere in the U.S.. The illegal scientists searched far and wide for the Musiconium, but they couldn’t find it. They could only wonder where- or rather in who- their Musiconium ended up… never imagining how it would change three orphaned dancers’ lives.
INT. DANCE CLUB - LATE EVENING
(When the narration ends, we see DISCO DAN grab the door to the club and enter. DISCO DAN approaches the DJ and slides him a tip)
Play my song, baby. I need to get my funky groove on.
You got it man.
(As DISCO DAN begins to dance, ROCKSTAR RICKY kicks open the door to the club. The music stops and everyone turns to look)
What in the name of Rock do you think you’re doing, Twinkle Toes?
(DISCO DAN stomps up to ROCKSTAR RICKY)
I think I’m listening to MY music in MY club. GET OUT!
No way hairball. Let’s see what music really owns this club.
(They both storm up to the DJ and slide him a tip.)
(Dan & Ricky):
Play MY song!
(A mashup plays as RICKY and DAN begin their dance battle. DAN takes off into the air and does the electric slide, finishing on the ground in the classic disco finger pose. RICKY plays an air guitar.)
Is that all you’ve got? Ha. Musiconium gave you super strength and not much else.
(Enraged, RICKY grabs a real guitar and smashes it on the dance floor, breaking the dance floor. The smash makes DAN fall to the ground as the audience cheers for RICKY. DAN, now defeated, gets up and exits the club. After exiting, he twirls, lets out a sad Micheal Jackson “hehe” and flies away.)
(As the crowd is cheering, the music stops and the door swings open. The crowd falls silent and stares at the silhouette standing outside the door. Spotlight falls on POPSTAR PENNY as she enters the club.)
I heard you won the dance battle, but you must’ve forgotten that this is MY club. Let’s play MY song.
(PENNY gestures to the DJ and the needle falls down on the record, beginning her music. PENNY starts with the sprinkler, and RICKY runs over to the DJ to smash the record player. PENNY stops him just in time and uses her powers to control his dance moves)
EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE SKY - NIGHT
(DAN is flying away from the club sobbing uncontrollably when he hears a smug voice in his head. It’s PENNY)
POPSTAR PENNY VO:
(In DISCO’S head.)
I have Ricky. If you ever come back to my club, you’ll never see your brother again.
(DAN stops flying, looks back, and looks forward again, unsure)
INT. DANCE CLUB - NIGHT
(Action continues between PENNY and RICKY. PENNY sits on a stool, sipping a Coca-Cola with one arm extended out towards RICKY to maintain the dance trance connection. Through the dance trance, PENNY forces RICKY to do the sprinkler, lawn mower, cabbage patch, the robot, the twist, etc.)
He won’t help you! You’ve been disrespecting each other’s styles and opinions for much too long!
(Suddenly, DAN bursts through the ceiling. A piece of the ceiling falls with him and lands on PENNY, crushing her and breaking the dance trance. DAN slams down to the ground in the classic disco finger pose.)
That’s a pop thing. “He-he”
(RICKY falls to the ground, exhausted. DAN walks over to him and offers his hand. RICKY doesn’t take it yet.)
Why’d you come back to help me?
(pulls out half of a baby picture)
I’ve carried this picture around my entire life. It’s the only way I’ve ever been able to feel connected to my family. But what if you’re my family?
(Rockstar Ricky pulls out the other half of the baby picture.)
(The picture fuses together and they share a shy smile. DAN helps RICKY up. DISCO DAN and ROCKSTAR RICKY twirl around.)
DAN & RICKY:
(They fly away together. The picture falls to the ground.)
FADE TO BLACK:
POST CREDIT SCENE:
INT. DANCE CLUB - NEXT MORNING
(The scene opens with the photo in the rubble. We hear footsteps approaching it, and a hand picks it up. The camera slowly pans from the black boots, up over ripped black tights, and a hole-riddled shirt and black leather jacket. It ends on GRUNGE GRETA, the resurrected eviler version of POPSTAR PENNY, breathing heavily and glaring at the picture. We see the entirety of the club and the floating rubble around her as she screams silently and rips the photo in two.)
CUT TO BLACK.